Monday, July 18, 2011

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

Many of you have probably heard of this terribly appetizing and disgusting Wizard treat. When I was at Harry Potter World at Universal Islands of Adventure in May I picked some up. It was about $11 dollars US which I thought was kinda outrageous for a pound of jelly beans. Boy was I wrong... probably the best money I have ever spent! Today I was cleaning my room and came upon the package which I still hadn't opened. It just felt right so I opened up the bag of colorful beans and poured them out into a bowl. Of course the sound of candy falling into a bowl attracted the attention of my younger siblings. When I told Jared what they were he got really excited and grabbed one right away. As he started chewing his face quickly turned to horror as what he had thought was a rather harmless toasted marshmallow was actually a soap flavored one. I tried one as well and yes indeed it tasted of sweet soap. Blegh!

Don't worry it gets better... We went on exploring and Jared dared me to eat a rather dark and scary looking one. Popping it into my mouth it didn't taste bad then suddenly I was sputtering and choking. It was black pepper. Not only was it foul tasting but it was spicy to boot! I found the list and we began trying the nastiest ones we could find. There it was, the killer of all killer jelly bellies. The winner? VOMIT... yes, I kid you not there is a vomit flavored jelly bean, or bertie bean rather. Jared and I counted to 3 and then popped it in. Faces contorting, stomachs churning we ran for the trash can. We both gagged and well, it got the best of me. Guess the vomit should be called the vomit inducing bertie bott bean. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted and I did it of my own free will. What is wrong with me? My mom was laughing at us and Mina became curious and started sampling the candies. Lindsey came over and started eating them too.

It was a party! Though I'm not really sure the food was the best. Jared and I discovered the Rotten Egg flavored jelly belly and I nearly lost my dinner again... I don't like eggs much to begin with so yeah that was the end of my brave streak. Mina and Jared sampled the earthworm flavored bean. No, I'm being completely serious, earthworm. I am not sure who got to the trash can first, it was a blur of hurried motion and guzzling water to get rid of the taste. Overall, it was really fun watching every one's facial expressions as we figured out which ones were tasty and which ones we should avoid, or give to our Mom who didn't know what they were. Haha, I guess it is a good thing she loves us so much. Just for fun I've added the complete list of the 20 flavors that were in the pack and color coded them for Good and bad... I think you are smart enough to figure out which one is which.

Banana- This one was quite delicious
Blueberry- Lindsey liked this one
Candyfloss (cotton candy)- Too sweet for my taste
Cherry- Always a safe bet
Green Apple- We kept mixing up this one with Grass.
Marshmallow- Easily mixed up with soap, earwax and rotten egg but quite good.
Sherbert Lemon- Very well.. lemony?
Tutti-Frutti- My favorite and I used it to cleanse my pallet between really terrible ones.
Watermelon- Another yummy one.
Bogies- I didn't eat this one but apparently it wasn't terrible.
Black Pepper- This one was spicy and had me sputtering and coughing.
Dirt- Well, it even smelled like dirt. Nasty!
Earthworm- nearly got the best of Mina and Jared.
Earwax- Very Repugnant indeed!
Grass- Wasn't terrible but wasn't great either.
Rotten Egg- Tasted strangely kinda like onions, either way gross.
Sausage- My mom and Lindsey braved this one and said it was not good at all.
Soap- sweet and soapy, not one to fight over.
Vomit- Yeah well it made me vomit so I guess it deserves its name.

Moral of the story: When braving Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans do it in a group and it is bound to be a great laugh for everyone involved. Also, don't do it right after dinner... or you may look like the baby above.

Random Fact: The average coach airline meal costs the airline $4.00. The average first class meal: $50.

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